Why are we here? Part 1 ...

Do you ever wonder why you are here? Not on this blog (of course) but on this earth. Why were you created.

I am going to answer a gist of what I believe we were put here for. Of course the creator had specific roles and goals he wanted each of us to carry out. But beyond it all why are here?

First and foremost we are here to

1. Worship and praise the creator- Our very existence should always be about how we can bring glory to God. Everyday must be an opportunity for us to PRAISE and WORSHIP.  Not just on Sundays when we are surrounded by good music and like minded people.

As Paul urged the Corinthians to do in 1 Corinthians 10:31, praise must be a lifestyle. Praising must be more than asking Him for stuff and even preaching to others. Praising God comes first in all things.
It's funny how hard that can be as we're hardwired to see what Satan is doing and not see the beauty of God has already done.

If you have nothing to praise God for, praise Him for the fact you have life and hope and that you have His greatest gift…which is Jesus. With Him we can bear all things and become the very people God has created us to be. With Him we have hope for a better life both in this life and in the world to come.

2. We are here to HAVE FUN.

Yes we are here to enjoy our lives…to eat, drink and be merry! To PARTY... like a lot. Today all these activities have been perverted by the enemy and made christians feel bad for having fun or even wanting to have fun.  Christians have become the bearers of guilt, shame and grim. Christians can't simply laugh or have a sense of humor because Jesus might be mad at them and they might lose their salvation when in actual fact we ought to be the HAPPIEST people.

I am on a personal journey to GENUINELY have fun! There are so many ways this can happen without involving the enemy. This blog will mainly be about that and about my walk with God as a believer in nyc. God-willing, I will blog about the things I do that are (Christ approved yes all is permissible but not all things are edifying). So stay tuned!

3. We are here to a certain SPECIFIC and PARTICULAR role.

Yes as Christians we are filled with the spirit of God, skill, intelligence, knowledge and all we need to fulfill our particular goals. Christians more than any group of people should seek the guidance of God so as we know what we're doing and what we were brought to this earth to do. I will write more about this in a future post and elaborate on what i've learned about our DIVINE ASSIGNMENT.
Apart from the general ones like worshiping and praising God, being in close fellowship with him, bringing enjoyment and pleasure to the father, bringing others to the knowledge of Him….this is equally as important.

The STUFF I love

If you are a girl like me then Im sure you like clothes. You probably have a pinterest board clouded with beautiful pictures of how your dream closet should look like. You have a style that defines who you are and what you're about.  You probably have accumulated stuff that help make to the outside world clear what you are all about.
Don't get me wrong when i say I love things I don't just love the quantity but love craftsmanship and the effort some people take to ensure I enjoy a garment or pair of shoots.
So yes I adore my stuff….all of them.
So when someone decided to make my STUFF their STUFF, i felt justified in going crunk!
This person took a lot from me and made me feel paranoid for possibly wrongly accusing them of theft. But after the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart and ask me not to go looking in their stuff (which I obeyed), I found out later this person had in fact taken my stuff. So Yes that got me really MAD!!!!
I said God I want them out of my life NOW!! Make them disappear like yesterday!!! I went about my apartment like a mad old woman…calling my mother on the other side of the world and yelling at her on the phone. Blaming her for being too overtly kind and overtly open to the detriment of us her children. And this is one thing i ALWAYS blame my parents for. Letting people come to our homes during out childhood days and letting them have free reign to do whatever they saw fit.

I got my iPhone and started to get together the NASTIEST MEANEST text ever. I was ruthless. But just as I was about to hit send the Holy Spirit came back and admonished me to stop a second time. I recognized and decided to STOP.

So this brings me to the many topic of discussion. My strong hold on things YES material things aka STUFF (as alluded above)

Yes STUFF! How I love my STUFF. Those little idols that have taken such space in my heart and in my apartment. Im justified into thinking that if I own them, then they need to be kept well secured…seriously i have some stuff dating back to high school days. I am not a hoarder but I have a strong tendency to treat my stuff like they have a soul of their own. Like they are my children. I don't lend my stuff neither do I borrow. I don't want anybody's STUFF but mine so I do all I can to hold on to what I already have…which i love almost too much.
 But the truth is these earthily possessions are just things..things that perish. The only thing that doesn't  perish is love…and love according to 1 Corinthians bears all things, believes all things, is patient and kind. Qualities I don't naturally exude when it comes to my things.

My prayer this week is for God to help me tone down my clinginess and worship of things. I want Jesus to help put in right order the priorities of my life ….being Godly and doing the right thing comes before any anger or emotion I feel. Doing the right thing even and especially when I feel very justified in reacting to a situation. Yes this anger stirred by my someone taking my STUFF has cost me a lot.
i LOST my temper BIG time. Sounded like a tiger and couldn't even reason with my even tempered mother as she tried to calm me down on the phone. Yes I did lose a lot….almost 200 plus dollars worth of stuff but I should have acted better (cos I knew better than to let that upset me). This weekend was ruined by all of this drama and Im not getting my 3 lovely days back.

I am GLAD that I listened to the Holy Spirit cos I would have acted a fool and completely been impulsive about the whole situation and of course would have regretted afterwards.

Where in your life are you learning to exhibit self control? How has your experience been and are you listening to the promptings of he Holy Spirit?

The art of Life

In art nothing's quite ugly,
everything has its own charm and relevance.
Nothing is lost in art.
Every detail and bit is important and adds to its value.

People are the same. We were all created by God and though a large number of us haven't fully connected with our maker we still hold an important quality.
That quality is what makes us all humans.
Our little idiosyncrasies, laughs, things we do.....

By appreciating art one begins to open a door to look at things differently. See others differently.

praising when all you feel like doing is complaining

Im not gonna lie these past few days have been rather rough. A lot of things just came at me and I had very little spiritual capacity to fight them. I couldn't pray…didn't even feel like it. All I wanted to do was to lay on my bed and cry. Just let it all out by having a major pity/imtiredofallthis/idontwannadothis anymore party.  There wasn't one area in my life which didn't wear me out. Major stress and weariness set in for me.
In my personal walk with Jesus, faith in God isn't the major issue I deal with. For me, it's faith in myself. I do sometimes worry(i know i shouldn't) if I can go through this. If I'm cut out for this. All I want is to be a normal christian girl…living a happy life. Working out, traveling, becoming a doctor, wife and mother, falling in love, being social all the stuff I dream of doing. But I sometimes feel left-out…physically drained. I try not to let how I feel come through by dressing nicely and putting on some makeup but yes I do have my days. Days that i listen to the lies of the enemy because it becomes quite loud drowning the scripture I try to build myself with everyday.
I get irritable and almost give up! When I start to yo-yo in my health, emotions and faith in myself I begin to question God. I know He has ALREADY healed me and made provisions for me in every area SO i ask what could I be doing wrong.
This time God says YAA your victory is in your praise and by maintaining a cheerful positive outlook. The promises in scripture should be enough to make you smile throughout your day and sing praises to God in Heaven.
His other thing was about my speech. The words I was saying and the words I was listening to. My speech can be very random and unfiltered and you know what the bible calls a person like that….a fool. Yes!
I don't believe I am a fool but I act a fool when my words are many and my speech is unrestrained. Prov 29:11, Prov 15:2

There is also a strong correlation between speech and health. The Bible makes it clear that death and life are in the power of the tongue(Prov 18:21) and that the tongue of the wise brings healing (Prov 12:18).
So I have made a decision that by the Grace of God I will overcome this tongue issue. I will talk as Ephesians 4:29 commands- words for building up, as fits the occasion that it may bring grace to those who hear.

So this week was pretty tough but God is always with me and i know Im learning a lot in this time of my life. My faith walk is challenging but i know in due season I will reap all that I am sowing.

love can be affirming…take it the way you get and don't really have expectations

2012,2013 were pretty hard years in my life. I was sick (but got well), was extremely alone and found Jesus one more time and went through some form of stagnation in my life. It was like a brick wall had fallen over me and was sitting in my path.

At first I couldn't deal with the major turn of events. Natural emotions like panic, fear, anger, loss and grief set in for me. It was GRUESOME! I went into feeling sulky and emotional and couldn't function like I used to. I lost a lot of drive and ambition that I believe defined who I was and who I have always been. Yes and the big one even happened. I lost my identity - everything that I was was gone. I was left with the stark reality of my very being.

I stayed up at night imagining how my life would end…how sad my parents will be. I imagined my mother crying for years…never being happy again. During these times some people I had imagined would be there for me weren't. I became resentful and alone.

When things started getting better health-wise, I decided to get my life together. I was gonna take my exams, do well and become the swankiest doctor NY had ever seen. But that in itself was a BIG hurdle for me to jump. It was so much that I began to doubt myself, my will and my need to make this happen.  After listening to the word of God, letting it sit in my spirit and just soaking all of my energies into finding what God had for me it finally happened.

I got my mojo back- i mean spiritually of course! It was liberating and then BAM something came back again.
I was feeling like the lonely insecure child I grew up as.  The constant thoughts of people taking advantage, being disrespectful, crossing boundaries.what is a girl to do?? how do you restore order, respect, distance and privacy.

Nowadays I don't feel ridiculously isolated and today I had a feeling of love. I don't know quite what to make of it because it seemed a little unexpected. Almost as a pleasant surprise. I quickly began to suspect it. Was it real and lasting …..was it to feed some form of ego. It was pretty warm and fussy that initial feeling but this post is really about how love can sometimes mean differently for people. Every one has a way of dishing it out. Think of it as their signature modus operandi.

think outside the box

where is my box?
where did i set the limit on myself and most importantly God?

Today was hugely unproductive in terms of 'work' but I was able to spend the last days with my friend as she completed her shopping for her big day. Im glad I got to help her out on this very important day of her life. So we met a prophetess who ministered to both of us. I always find prophetic word rather interesting as they affirm what might already be a message from God to you or a totally new direction for your life. Today was the latter

So basically big daddy in heaven wants me to think OUTSIDE the box.

To be quiet honest, my day was quite sucky. Dealing with internal weariness…my bible was not too far away. I chose not to feed the spirit. I just wanted to be mad and I refused to be comforted by the holy spirit or God. i even felt physical unease from just the stress.

Let me tell you this secret you might already know…….being Hurt emotionally is no walk in the park. I have been hurt physically, mentally but emotionally takes the trophy. It eats at you, steals your joy, distracts you from God and depletes every single life force in you. I felt like a ragdoll today being dragged around town. NO FUN.

i DID not praise God…I was depleted and weary. My soul was laden by a lot of cares. I couldn't cast them upon Jesus because quite honestly i wanted to carry them..I wanted to feel the hurt…maybe also I wanted to have a mild internal pity party.

Pity parties that begin as apathy and end as weariness are real. Sometimes I feel is all this gonna count at the end of it all? I know not but i don't know how else to be. Maybe I know how to be but I don't want to be that way …...Maybe I need to think outside the box

So back to the prophecy…thinking outside the box???
what box are we talking about. i frankly loathe this situation Im in right now. I know what to do but I'm not sure that's exactly the perfect will of God.
I have chosen a path of least involvement. I don't want to do the work to restore what the enemy has tried so hard to break.

My energy is sucked up into this mess, i DIDNT create therefore aren't willing to clean up. I seriously don't want to be disrespected and taken advantage of for one more single day .

but God says think outside the box

This time i might be running solo...

2014 …LETS GO!!

You have come to show me that I am the head and not the tail
That I go up only and not down and that success is my DNA.
To get somewhere i have to put childish ways aside.
I have to do things Ive never done.
I have to separate myself
I need to be alone

I have to give up some wants and even some needs
I need to STOP talking, verbalizing every thought, ranting, complaining, complaining, complaining.
Even writing..which i doubt as it can be for me quite liberating.
If I can't stop something that's bugging me i just need to surrender to big daddy in heaven.

Im pissed!! My life is not half how i imagined it to be.
But God is good and it's not his fault..It never is. Its all mine
I have allowed it. I've allowed mediocrity, distraction and lack of action.
I have been a dream child but not a dream person.
I have played victim. Not been assertive. Tough love is what most people in my life need.
This year Im dishing it out free. If you misidentify it as hate that's your own cup of tea.
Im not here to please you. My life was not made to bring you utter satisfaction..please look for that elsewhere. Its over. No more disrespect!! No more taking advantage of the situation!!! No more assumptions. If you care about me, you would want to know by asking.

It's over! it really is! time to get super claire underwood/patty hewes.