I am 27 years today! I woke up a little later than I was supposed to….I headed straight to my home gym…did my insanity workout and had my breakfast. I spent sometime praying and I noticed in my prayer how grateful I was. I felt the Holy Spirit 's love like never before but shortly after that I started to complain to God about some stuff. I told God I hated where I was in life, my job, how i got a certain physical ailment that I fought, my relationships with some people I love, all i could see was failure failure failure…I know that was the work of the enemy.
I quickly snapped out of that and started to praise God because that was the dominant emotion I desired. To be quite honest I was feeling very empty and beat up.
I cleaned up my patient and she started to have shortness of breadth which freaked me out a bit. I thought it was the usual shortness of breadth but unfortunately it persisted and she didn't stop. I prayed for her healing but can't stay that I was walking in faith. I was worried and probably panicked a bit. I kept feeling bad because God has been so good to me even this year and me complaining was just embarrassing and immature.
So now Im sitting here, 27 years old ….far from where I want to be in life. I sometimes feel bad because this is not the person I am. I don't do self-pity nor do I get in the habit of giving up. But life has a way of squeezing you. In this my short existence I have been through a lot to prevent me from dreaming. I always feel like the devil uses these situations to distract me and get me to give up. My birthday was uneventful, cold and stressful. Between my job which I feel I'm getting a little unhappy with and my life in general my mood was sour.
I couldn't get any mcat work done either. I just couldn't focus because of my patient's condition….I start ed having all these sour thoughts.(not gonna get into those).
I have decide to have faith…my mood, emotions and fears cannot decide what I want to believe. I didn't react the right way and wasn't full of the Joy of the Lord….but now I have joy in my heart because I know the God I serve.
I know the real moral of this post is that
1. I yielded to my emotions and didn't consider God's promise for me.I panicked
2. I started my day with discontent and a negative energy. I was not happy and in a Psalm 34 mood
3. I panicked
4. I was not grateful to God
5. I listened to negative self talk and let it get to me.
The truth is though my day was pretty sucky my life as a whole is very good because simply because I have God. And just recently I prayed for my father who had been very ill and he got well within a day. So yes i HAVE the supernatural power of God working in me. And I know who I am and whose I am….a. And for me, being super ambitious I have allowed satan to drill these thoughts of failure and low self worth to run my life. IT'S OVER!!!!! I will NOT take it anymore!!!!!!
New Decision
NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS TOMORROW OR THE DAYS AHEAD…I WILL PRAISE GOD BY MAINTAINING MY JOY!!!
NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS TOMORROW OR THE DAYS AHEAD…I WILL PRAISE GOD BY MAINTAINING MY JOY!!!
NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS TOMORROW OR THE DAYS AHEAD…I WILL PRAISE GOD BY MAINTAINING MY JOY!!!
NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS TOMORROW OR THE DAYS AHEAD…I WILL PRAISE GOD BY MAINTAINING MY JOY!!!
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