mcat studying day 2

General chemistry day 2 did some no so gritty work. Will finish the chapter today and perhaps read through workout did not work out woke up hungry and ate like a pig :( will get a lot more sleep today God willing Scriptural meditation was still on Job 32:8

My Scripture Meditation Journey.

As you're probably already familiar with, meditation is a highly encouraged spiritual discipline. When you say meditation, the image that comes to one's head is a Buddhist monk in a lotus position chanting some words continuously and carefully breathing in and out. In my faith as a Christian, meditation is hardly encouraged or even talked about. This is rather unfortunate because it is the only way to completely manifest to the physical realm the gifts gained upon our reception of the Holy Spirit. I came to this after being so TIRED and wornout in my walk. Trying to be a good Christian by my own efforts. It was hard and still is. I came to a point where I knew change had to happen. The Lord through the Holy Spirit brought a new revelation to me. For many weeks, I had been listening to Andrew Wommack's "effortless change" but never really listened. It was like God was leading me to it out of desperation. It has become clear to me that listening to God's word is not the same hearing God's word. (explanation to this will come later). It was after the Lord led me to this sermon that I finally knew what had to change. God revealed himself to me and I am glad to say that I have embarked on Journey to getting to know him. So the question that you might be wanting to ask is "why didn't you know the Lord?" My simple answer is NO. The reason being knowing the lord is certainly not the same as knowing of him (which normally comes second hand from sermons and teachings of other people). I have learned over these past few days that knowledge of the Lord that is described in scripture is a deeper word meaning (having experiential knowledge of him). Im not sure what this whole journey is going to be about but all I can say is practicing Joshua 1:8, Psalm 1:2, isn't a walk in the park. It takes a lot to silent the mind, the heart and even your ears just to focus on scripture. My first day was good but the second day wasn't easy. I might document more about this as time goes on. Thanks for reading. God's love and Happiness Peace GLAHP

One True Thing.

Love what she said at the end "It's so much easier to be happy to choose to love the things that you have"

I remember the first time I saw this movie...it was just so real to me. Describes my life to be exact... How I berated motherhood and homemaking and felt my mother lacked ambition. I almost idolized my father and then with time I realize just how HARD it was to be mother. To hold down a home, to make it all seem so effortless.

My mother makes like 20 meals at once and the kitchen remains spotless after.  How she puts us selfish kids first..neglecting her own needs. I'm proud to call her my best friend. I miss her a lot today...I don't know
She is my one true thing......

Why are we here? Part 1 ...

Do you ever wonder why you are here? Not on this blog (of course) but on this earth. Why were you created.

I am going to answer a gist of what I believe we were put here for. Of course the creator had specific roles and goals he wanted each of us to carry out. But beyond it all why are here?

First and foremost we are here to

1. Worship and praise the creator- Our very existence should always be about how we can bring glory to God. Everyday must be an opportunity for us to PRAISE and WORSHIP.  Not just on Sundays when we are surrounded by good music and like minded people.

As Paul urged the Corinthians to do in 1 Corinthians 10:31, praise must be a lifestyle. Praising must be more than asking Him for stuff and even preaching to others. Praising God comes first in all things.
It's funny how hard that can be as we're hardwired to see what Satan is doing and not see the beauty of God has already done.

If you have nothing to praise God for, praise Him for the fact you have life and hope and that you have His greatest gift…which is Jesus. With Him we can bear all things and become the very people God has created us to be. With Him we have hope for a better life both in this life and in the world to come.

2. We are here to HAVE FUN.

Yes we are here to enjoy our lives…to eat, drink and be merry! To PARTY... like a lot. Today all these activities have been perverted by the enemy and made christians feel bad for having fun or even wanting to have fun.  Christians have become the bearers of guilt, shame and grim. Christians can't simply laugh or have a sense of humor because Jesus might be mad at them and they might lose their salvation when in actual fact we ought to be the HAPPIEST people.

I am on a personal journey to GENUINELY have fun! There are so many ways this can happen without involving the enemy. This blog will mainly be about that and about my walk with God as a believer in nyc. God-willing, I will blog about the things I do that are (Christ approved yes all is permissible but not all things are edifying). So stay tuned!

3. We are here to a certain SPECIFIC and PARTICULAR role.

Yes as Christians we are filled with the spirit of God, skill, intelligence, knowledge and all we need to fulfill our particular goals. Christians more than any group of people should seek the guidance of God so as we know what we're doing and what we were brought to this earth to do. I will write more about this in a future post and elaborate on what i've learned about our DIVINE ASSIGNMENT.
Apart from the general ones like worshiping and praising God, being in close fellowship with him, bringing enjoyment and pleasure to the father, bringing others to the knowledge of Him….this is equally as important.

The STUFF I love

If you are a girl like me then Im sure you like clothes. You probably have a pinterest board clouded with beautiful pictures of how your dream closet should look like. You have a style that defines who you are and what you're about.  You probably have accumulated stuff that help make to the outside world clear what you are all about.
Don't get me wrong when i say I love things I don't just love the quantity but love craftsmanship and the effort some people take to ensure I enjoy a garment or pair of shoots.
So yes I adore my stuff….all of them.
So when someone decided to make my STUFF their STUFF, i felt justified in going crunk!
This person took a lot from me and made me feel paranoid for possibly wrongly accusing them of theft. But after the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart and ask me not to go looking in their stuff (which I obeyed), I found out later this person had in fact taken my stuff. So Yes that got me really MAD!!!!
I said God I want them out of my life NOW!! Make them disappear like yesterday!!! I went about my apartment like a mad old woman…calling my mother on the other side of the world and yelling at her on the phone. Blaming her for being too overtly kind and overtly open to the detriment of us her children. And this is one thing i ALWAYS blame my parents for. Letting people come to our homes during out childhood days and letting them have free reign to do whatever they saw fit.

I got my iPhone and started to get together the NASTIEST MEANEST text ever. I was ruthless. But just as I was about to hit send the Holy Spirit came back and admonished me to stop a second time. I recognized and decided to STOP.

So this brings me to the many topic of discussion. My strong hold on things YES material things aka STUFF (as alluded above)

Yes STUFF! How I love my STUFF. Those little idols that have taken such space in my heart and in my apartment. Im justified into thinking that if I own them, then they need to be kept well secured…seriously i have some stuff dating back to high school days. I am not a hoarder but I have a strong tendency to treat my stuff like they have a soul of their own. Like they are my children. I don't lend my stuff neither do I borrow. I don't want anybody's STUFF but mine so I do all I can to hold on to what I already have…which i love almost too much.
 But the truth is these earthily possessions are just things..things that perish. The only thing that doesn't  perish is love…and love according to 1 Corinthians bears all things, believes all things, is patient and kind. Qualities I don't naturally exude when it comes to my things.

My prayer this week is for God to help me tone down my clinginess and worship of things. I want Jesus to help put in right order the priorities of my life ….being Godly and doing the right thing comes before any anger or emotion I feel. Doing the right thing even and especially when I feel very justified in reacting to a situation. Yes this anger stirred by my someone taking my STUFF has cost me a lot.
i LOST my temper BIG time. Sounded like a tiger and couldn't even reason with my even tempered mother as she tried to calm me down on the phone. Yes I did lose a lot….almost 200 plus dollars worth of stuff but I should have acted better (cos I knew better than to let that upset me). This weekend was ruined by all of this drama and Im not getting my 3 lovely days back.

I am GLAD that I listened to the Holy Spirit cos I would have acted a fool and completely been impulsive about the whole situation and of course would have regretted afterwards.

Where in your life are you learning to exhibit self control? How has your experience been and are you listening to the promptings of he Holy Spirit?

The art of Life

In art nothing's quite ugly,
everything has its own charm and relevance.
Nothing is lost in art.
Every detail and bit is important and adds to its value.

People are the same. We were all created by God and though a large number of us haven't fully connected with our maker we still hold an important quality.
That quality is what makes us all humans.
Our little idiosyncrasies, laughs, things we do.....

By appreciating art one begins to open a door to look at things differently. See others differently.

praising when all you feel like doing is complaining

Im not gonna lie these past few days have been rather rough. A lot of things just came at me and I had very little spiritual capacity to fight them. I couldn't pray…didn't even feel like it. All I wanted to do was to lay on my bed and cry. Just let it all out by having a major pity/imtiredofallthis/idontwannadothis anymore party.  There wasn't one area in my life which didn't wear me out. Major stress and weariness set in for me.
In my personal walk with Jesus, faith in God isn't the major issue I deal with. For me, it's faith in myself. I do sometimes worry(i know i shouldn't) if I can go through this. If I'm cut out for this. All I want is to be a normal christian girl…living a happy life. Working out, traveling, becoming a doctor, wife and mother, falling in love, being social all the stuff I dream of doing. But I sometimes feel left-out…physically drained. I try not to let how I feel come through by dressing nicely and putting on some makeup but yes I do have my days. Days that i listen to the lies of the enemy because it becomes quite loud drowning the scripture I try to build myself with everyday.
I get irritable and almost give up! When I start to yo-yo in my health, emotions and faith in myself I begin to question God. I know He has ALREADY healed me and made provisions for me in every area SO i ask what could I be doing wrong.
This time God says YAA your victory is in your praise and by maintaining a cheerful positive outlook. The promises in scripture should be enough to make you smile throughout your day and sing praises to God in Heaven.
His other thing was about my speech. The words I was saying and the words I was listening to. My speech can be very random and unfiltered and you know what the bible calls a person like that….a fool. Yes!
I don't believe I am a fool but I act a fool when my words are many and my speech is unrestrained. Prov 29:11, Prov 15:2

There is also a strong correlation between speech and health. The Bible makes it clear that death and life are in the power of the tongue(Prov 18:21) and that the tongue of the wise brings healing (Prov 12:18).
So I have made a decision that by the Grace of God I will overcome this tongue issue. I will talk as Ephesians 4:29 commands- words for building up, as fits the occasion that it may bring grace to those who hear.

So this week was pretty tough but God is always with me and i know Im learning a lot in this time of my life. My faith walk is challenging but i know in due season I will reap all that I am sowing.

love can be affirming…take it the way you get and don't really have expectations

2012,2013 were pretty hard years in my life. I was sick (but got well), was extremely alone and found Jesus one more time and went through some form of stagnation in my life. It was like a brick wall had fallen over me and was sitting in my path.

At first I couldn't deal with the major turn of events. Natural emotions like panic, fear, anger, loss and grief set in for me. It was GRUESOME! I went into feeling sulky and emotional and couldn't function like I used to. I lost a lot of drive and ambition that I believe defined who I was and who I have always been. Yes and the big one even happened. I lost my identity - everything that I was was gone. I was left with the stark reality of my very being.

I stayed up at night imagining how my life would end…how sad my parents will be. I imagined my mother crying for years…never being happy again. During these times some people I had imagined would be there for me weren't. I became resentful and alone.

When things started getting better health-wise, I decided to get my life together. I was gonna take my exams, do well and become the swankiest doctor NY had ever seen. But that in itself was a BIG hurdle for me to jump. It was so much that I began to doubt myself, my will and my need to make this happen.  After listening to the word of God, letting it sit in my spirit and just soaking all of my energies into finding what God had for me it finally happened.

I got my mojo back- i mean spiritually of course! It was liberating and then BAM something came back again.
I was feeling like the lonely insecure child I grew up as.  The constant thoughts of people taking advantage, being disrespectful, crossing boundaries.what is a girl to do?? how do you restore order, respect, distance and privacy.

Nowadays I don't feel ridiculously isolated and today I had a feeling of love. I don't know quite what to make of it because it seemed a little unexpected. Almost as a pleasant surprise. I quickly began to suspect it. Was it real and lasting …..was it to feed some form of ego. It was pretty warm and fussy that initial feeling but this post is really about how love can sometimes mean differently for people. Every one has a way of dishing it out. Think of it as their signature modus operandi.

think outside the box

where is my box?
where did i set the limit on myself and most importantly God?

Today was hugely unproductive in terms of 'work' but I was able to spend the last days with my friend as she completed her shopping for her big day. Im glad I got to help her out on this very important day of her life. So we met a prophetess who ministered to both of us. I always find prophetic word rather interesting as they affirm what might already be a message from God to you or a totally new direction for your life. Today was the latter

So basically big daddy in heaven wants me to think OUTSIDE the box.

To be quiet honest, my day was quite sucky. Dealing with internal weariness…my bible was not too far away. I chose not to feed the spirit. I just wanted to be mad and I refused to be comforted by the holy spirit or God. i even felt physical unease from just the stress.

Let me tell you this secret you might already know…….being Hurt emotionally is no walk in the park. I have been hurt physically, mentally but emotionally takes the trophy. It eats at you, steals your joy, distracts you from God and depletes every single life force in you. I felt like a ragdoll today being dragged around town. NO FUN.

i DID not praise God…I was depleted and weary. My soul was laden by a lot of cares. I couldn't cast them upon Jesus because quite honestly i wanted to carry them..I wanted to feel the hurt…maybe also I wanted to have a mild internal pity party.

Pity parties that begin as apathy and end as weariness are real. Sometimes I feel is all this gonna count at the end of it all? I know not but i don't know how else to be. Maybe I know how to be but I don't want to be that way …...Maybe I need to think outside the box

So back to the prophecy…thinking outside the box???
what box are we talking about. i frankly loathe this situation Im in right now. I know what to do but I'm not sure that's exactly the perfect will of God.
I have chosen a path of least involvement. I don't want to do the work to restore what the enemy has tried so hard to break.

My energy is sucked up into this mess, i DIDNT create therefore aren't willing to clean up. I seriously don't want to be disrespected and taken advantage of for one more single day .

but God says think outside the box

This time i might be running solo...

2014 …LETS GO!!

You have come to show me that I am the head and not the tail
That I go up only and not down and that success is my DNA.
To get somewhere i have to put childish ways aside.
I have to do things Ive never done.
I have to separate myself
I need to be alone

I have to give up some wants and even some needs
I need to STOP talking, verbalizing every thought, ranting, complaining, complaining, complaining.
Even writing..which i doubt as it can be for me quite liberating.
If I can't stop something that's bugging me i just need to surrender to big daddy in heaven.

Im pissed!! My life is not half how i imagined it to be.
But God is good and it's not his fault..It never is. Its all mine
I have allowed it. I've allowed mediocrity, distraction and lack of action.
I have been a dream child but not a dream person.
I have played victim. Not been assertive. Tough love is what most people in my life need.
This year Im dishing it out free. If you misidentify it as hate that's your own cup of tea.
Im not here to please you. My life was not made to bring you utter satisfaction..please look for that elsewhere. Its over. No more disrespect!! No more taking advantage of the situation!!! No more assumptions. If you care about me, you would want to know by asking.

It's over! it really is! time to get super claire underwood/patty hewes.

my birthday….God is GOOD no matter what

I am 27 years today! I woke up  a little later than I was supposed to….I headed straight to my home gym…did my insanity workout and had my breakfast. I spent sometime praying and I noticed in my prayer how grateful I was. I felt the Holy Spirit 's love like never before but shortly after that I started to complain to God about some stuff. I told God I hated where I was in life, my job, how i got a certain physical ailment that I fought,  my relationships with some people I love, all i could see was failure failure failure…I know that was the work of the enemy.
I quickly snapped out of that and started to praise God because that was the dominant emotion I desired. To be quite honest I was feeling very empty and beat up.
I cleaned up my patient and she started to have shortness of breadth which freaked me out a bit. I thought it was the usual shortness of breadth but unfortunately it persisted and she didn't stop. I prayed for her healing but can't stay that I was walking in faith. I was worried and probably panicked a bit. I kept feeling bad because God has been so good to me even this year and me complaining was just embarrassing and immature.

So now Im sitting here, 27 years old ….far from where I want to be in life. I sometimes feel bad because this is not the person I am. I don't do self-pity nor do I get in the habit of giving up. But life has a way of squeezing you. In this my short existence I have been through a lot to prevent me from dreaming. I always feel like the devil uses these situations to distract me and get me to give up. My birthday was uneventful, cold and stressful. Between my job which I feel I'm getting a little unhappy with and my life in general my mood was sour.

I couldn't get any mcat work done either. I just couldn't focus because of my patient's condition….I start ed having all these sour thoughts.(not gonna get into those).

I have decide to have faith…my mood, emotions and fears cannot decide what I want to believe. I didn't react the right way and wasn't full of the Joy of the Lord….but now I have joy in my heart because I know the God I serve.
I know the real moral of this post is that
1. I yielded to my emotions and didn't consider God's promise for me.I panicked
2. I started my day with discontent and a negative energy. I was not happy and in a Psalm 34 mood
3. I panicked
4. I was not grateful to God
5. I listened to negative self talk and let it get to me.

The truth is though my day was pretty sucky my life as a whole is very good because simply because I have God. And just recently I prayed for my father who had been very ill and he got well within a day. So yes i HAVE the supernatural power of God working in me. And I know who I am and whose I am….a. And for me, being super ambitious I have allowed satan to drill these thoughts of failure and low self worth to run my life. IT'S OVER!!!!! I will NOT take it anymore!!!!!!

New Decision
NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS TOMORROW OR THE DAYS AHEAD…I WILL PRAISE GOD BY MAINTAINING MY JOY!!!

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS TOMORROW OR THE DAYS AHEAD…I WILL PRAISE GOD BY MAINTAINING MY JOY!!!

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS TOMORROW OR THE DAYS AHEAD…I WILL PRAISE GOD BY MAINTAINING MY JOY!!!

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS TOMORROW OR THE DAYS AHEAD…I WILL PRAISE GOD BY MAINTAINING MY JOY!!!

First day of the 21 day experiment!!

Today I accomplished one main goal of mine and that is to wake up 5 am sharp and stay up! I did wake up and what kept me up was working out first thing. I did my insanity and then had breakfast. The day was good and I was able to spend sometime on mcat material. Not as much as I wanted but good enough. Tomorrow is chemistry!! I can't wait!! Goodnight folks :)

when my dream is not only mine…..

Yes your dream is not only yours (at least mine isn't just mine).
Most times I feel realizing will not only make me one seriously happier gal but i KNOW my parents who have been so supportive will just be beside themselves. I must admit they sometimes want me to succeed more than I do. I used to have a problem with that until I started working. Working has definitely taught the value of money and with the amount of money those folks have spent on my education they have EVERY right to expect some form of positive outcome out of my life.
Am I doing to my VERY best at this medical school dream of mine??? not really!
I guess I need to buckle UP and make it happen as soon as possible.
This year is my year of NO EXCUSES….Im going off to study physics in a bit!
I have to make this happen! Less talk and more doing!!

Things Im giving up to achieve this
1. SLEEP- this is a BIG one! Now this is unfortunate and something Im willing to give up to achieve this medical school dream of mine. For instance this morning was pretty hard. getting up was a big STRUGGLE. I KNOW I WILL OVERCOME. What I plan on doing is working out first thing when i wake up. That will keep me active and prevent me from going back to bed. Change in schedule.

2. Criminal minds and Law and Order - I love these shows but need to give them up

3. Bad food- yes eating healthy makes me focused and clear minded

4. Social life- not that i have this swanky social life but Im giving up the little i have going and killing myself literally for that.

5. Time with family - self explanatory

6. Pinterest and Social media- I already left Instagram and taking a break from Facebook.  Pinterest is gonna be a hard one. Im gonna spend less time on there. Maybe like 20 minutes a day

7. Comfort- the comfort of not being disciplined and doing whatever makes me happy. The comfort of not applying myself 100%. This is something similar to the sleep issue and I'm willing to give this up



LET'S GO!! 2014!!!!

God's Love and Happiness Peace
GLAHP
Mansah

The Best Summer Ever

As part of my decision to really live and rejoice, Im thinking about planning the best summer ever! I know this is quite tempting as I could be living in the future and postponing actually living everyday like it really counts, I believe it could also motivate me to be my best and gives me some form of timeline for highlighting this new part of my life.

So to the best summer ever Summer of 2014…..Let the planning begin!! I'll keep this updated and let you know of every little detail.


God's Love and Happiness Peace
Mansah

Let me officially introduce myself.

Hi there!

              So how do i do this without sounding awkward, contrived or even worse cliched…..

Ok Im gonna create a list of facts. Im gonna call it facts about me cheat sheet (lol)

good hair day coupled with a smile!

So here we go

Facts about me.

1. I live in NYC-----Once a childhood dream, I feel blessed that I'm realizing it

2. I was born in Ghana West Africa…spent most of my life there.

3. I went to college in Iowa (yes there are black folks there hahaha)

4. I majored in Biochemistry Cell and Molecular Biology (which inducts me officially/unofficially to     the Nerds Hall of Fame much to my chagrin).

5. I became born again in my first year of (secondary school) at the age of 14!! It was great!

6. I have since had a rather "interesting" journey with God.

7. I love God like fat kid loves cake….

8. I love my family---I have an amazing one that Im always grateful for.

9. I love being a woman…everything about being a woman is just so beautiful to me.

13. This blog is a way to show people God's goodness and grace in my life.

There are more stuff about me to know but these are the basics. Join me as I document my life……thanks for the visit

God's Love and Happiness Peace

Mansah.